The message we send is not always the message that’s received.”
– Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication:
A Language of Life
Living Compassion Tip — Week 40
It’s all “Greek to Me”
Dr. Marshall Rosenberg says, “As we know, the message we send is not always the message that’s received.”
Sometimes when we make a request, we can pick up on verbal cue or body language to determine that the message we sent was received the way we intended. But other times you can tell that whatever you said was “Greek” to the listener
To ensure a smooth exchange of information, try getting into the habit of asking the listener to reflect back what they heard you say. They don’t have to give a word-for-word recitation, but simply state in their own words what they think you said.
By incorporating this into your conversations, many upsets and misunderstandings can be avoided.
It’s also important to express appreciation when your listener tries to meet your request for a reflection. Answering with “That’s not what I said” or “You weren’t listening to me” will have the opposite effect.
A simple, “I’m grateful to you for telling me what you heard, I can see I didn’t make myself as clear as I’d like, so let me try again.” No Greek there!
Mindful Practice for the Week
Incorporate the practice of requesting a reflection of what you said in all your conversations. Try also to practice reflecting back what you hear the speaker saying. Clarifying always takes the confusion away! Enjoy your week!
How Do You Ask for What You Want?
Who knew that something as seemingly simple as how we ask for what we want had such an impact on our relationships? Keep your learning going by formulating a discussion group. Order the NVC Starter Kit Book Package and bring a few friends together to read and learn together each week.