Thank you for posting this. I’m currently working thru this same issue in many ways tho for me rather than struggling for parental love support etc which was pretty consistent because despite having only one parent for most of my childhood that parent was a very grounded loving supportive person.
She had no control over a society rooted in patriarchy, genocide, violence, racism, sexism, ableism and whatever we should call the seemingly rampant and endless desire to murder and turn into profit every living thing on our planet.
From the racist/sexist/ableism soul crushing of day to day life in school and church to the heart shredding of daily seeing my beloved elemental, plant and animal friends dismembered enough masse (clear cuts tied with slaughterhouses and chicken trucks for ripping away any feeling of comfort in this form).
I came to feel that nothing I could do would make this world full of ravenous monsters safe and happy for me.
I set out to change it, to stop the daily tsunami of harm and suffering that seems to drive colonized culture and industrial society.
40years of struggling later I too am worn out and tho I do see signs of the changes I struggled for I too feel like struggling is no longer useful.
I know intellectually that I and all living beings deserve to live in a world rooted in love and compassion not hierarchy and violence but I’m pretty sure my emotional body/inner child who still endures the daily reminders from the power tools roaring their destruction across the city to the dryer sheets, smoke and other pollution causing me to gasp with asthma is not yet convinced.
So far I focus on gratitude and love for all the good, all the living beings still living for instance-guerrilla gardeners and all the permaculture groups and seeds yet to sprout.
Some moments it works, some moments struggle/fear etc gain the upper hand.
Eventually tho I will clear it out!