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Its not f*cking Space Aliens, Okay?!

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Its not f*cking Space Aliens, Okay?!
Feb 16, 2015 5:09pm PST by jared the bassplayer

Can we just put this one to rest? I’m getting seriously agitated with these “Ancient Alien” theories and TV shows and blogs that are trying to peddle the idea that humans could not possibly have built the pyramids, Stonehenge, Mexico City, etc. As a guy who executes blueprints, this kind of thing really insults me and drives me crazy. People weren’t stupid 6,000 years ago. Okay? They were us.

This guy should never be taken seriously under any circumstance:

Yes, I blame the producers over at The “History” Chanel. What history? Space aliens didn’t build the freakin’ pyramids! That is not historic at all- that is dumb.

Well okay, smarty pants! If space aliens didn’t build these ancient structures, how did they get there?

Now this is where it gets crazy, so you may want to sit down and possibly buckle yourself in. People. People built these ancient structures. Without help from space aliens. How do you make giant pyramids from stones that were quarried far away? You get 50,000 of your buddies, get them liquored up and you make it happen. You float the stones down the Nile on barges, you build scaffolding and use ramps, levers and pullys and an official sh*t-ton of elbow grease.

Stonehenge? Same deal. Beer was around back then, too! No space alien intervention required. How do you line these huge monuments up to the solar equinox? How do you make sure that a certain star is visible through a shaft in Pharoh’s burial chamber? The same way we do it today.

Survey crews.

These are the guys. If they messed up, we wouldn’t be marveling in awe thousands of years later. The Nazca lines? Yep. That was some crack ancient Peruvian survey crew marking out where the lines were to go. I promise that these guys were able to do all of it without the aid of space aliens. They were simply competent and adept with mathematics and their surveying equipment.

The whole space alien construction managers thing just drives me crazy. How is it that space aliens built Machu Picchu and the Sphinx, but not the Roman aqueducts or Notre Dame? Why is it such a stretch to think that the Inca had some damn fine engineers among them?

Machu Picchu (Peru)No space alien supervision required. I promise.

People are smart. People are really good at building things. People did not need space aliens to teach them how to build things. Lets put this to rest.

If, however, I’m completely wrong about all of this and there is some intergalactic construction firm that got all the contracts back in antiquity, I’ve got a pretty good-sized glazing project in downtown LA I could use some pointers on. I’ll be the guy pretending space aliens aren’t there giving me tips.

6:28 PM PT: Thanks for the rec’s! You guys are great. The comments are hilarious!

Did ancient space aliens build antiquity’s most iconic landmarks?

  • No. Don’t be daft. 61%
  • Well, maybe not ALL of them. 10%
  • I saw it on the TeeVee! Ancient aliens built all of it! 3%
  • I am a space alien and can offer you pointers on the job in downtown LA you’re working on. 25


Author: ohnwentsya

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